Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
