I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
