Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
