I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Two words: nipple clamps
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