the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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