CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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