I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
