He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Found the puke drawer
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
