her vagine was all disorganized.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
