i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
