I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize