Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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