since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
