i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I will pee on everything he values.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
