oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
