I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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