That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
