All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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