I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I need to sanitize my soul.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
