I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
