You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
