Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
