the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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