honey bunches of taint.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
