Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
