nutella sex= disaster
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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