"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize