I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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