Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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