the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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