from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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