But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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