She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
