But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
