There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
