Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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