If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
