if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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