she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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