jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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