She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
