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• (914): View more from New York

  so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water

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• (315): View more from New York

  she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.

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• (876): View more from Jamaica

  you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom

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• (516): View more from New York

  we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class

  (914): View more from New York

  isnt today saturday?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said

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• (512): View more from Texas

  you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.

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• (714): View more from California

  I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit

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• (408): View more from California

  if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Sleeping with just one person sucks

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Wow. He is an expensive lay

  (207): View more from Maine

  I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment

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