whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
