your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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