all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
