question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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