Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
