New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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