Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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