you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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