need another drink. this is the easiest way
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
