Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
