$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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