"it" just moved
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I want her autograph on my taint
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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