Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
