Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
