You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
