Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
