bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
