Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
