Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
