So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize