Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
