Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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